Comments on: 05/02/15 – Lover’s Pleasure

By: llirium

llirium — Sat, 03 Jun 2017 15:32:52 +0000

@Kona I think the idea of someone “just knowing” what a woman wants is a selfish, egotistical desire so she doesn’t have to work as hard at communicating her desires to a man (or any lover, but usually men).

(That being said, I probably do it without noticing at times, despite my best efforts to clear myself of that BS and stop making stupid assumptions.) T_T

By: Kona

Kona — Mon, 04 May 2015 05:56:25 +0000

I understand women’s desire for a lover who is so attuned they don’t need to explain what they want; he (or she) just knows. Perhaps there are men like that, but I know I am not one of them. My second marriage failed in part because of this inability to read her mind, which was frustrating for both of us. If she had to tell me what she wanted, it took all the joy out of it, like she had to do all the work in the relationship. If I tried to guess, I was usually tragically wrong.

On the other hand, she took no interest in learning what I liked, or indulge my preferences in any way. So it’s not always entirely the guy’s deficiency.

By: Hielario

Hielario — Sun, 03 May 2015 00:31:38 +0000

Well, he’s gotta learn somehow!

By: Pete Rogan

Pete Rogan — Sat, 02 May 2015 21:21:09 +0000

It took me years to not take other people’s lack of insight personally, or their lack of social skills for that matter, or their own need to protect their egos. I’m still working on being friends with people who have difficulty being friends with themselves; I have to think the effort is still helping, however unpromising it looks.