I believe I had just read “Confederacy of Dunces” for the first time, which used the word “abortion” by the second definition “an object or undertaking regarded by the speaker as unpleasant or badly made or carried out.” I liked the evocativeness of it, especially in use of humor where it shows both the horror of the specified object as well as the over-the-topness of the character speaking.

And that’s honestly what the box read (of course, it was the San Francisco “treat”). Like lawyers claiming they really care*, and suppository chainsaws claiming they won’t hurt, I just don’t buy the line that they had pride, wanted to share, or that it was special.

*of course, some lawyers do, bless ‘em.