Bruno

Discussion (4) ¬

1. 
   ronald

   March 30, 2018 at 6:35 am | #

   I thought she was just visiting, so I’ve obviously completely lost the plot…
2. 
   llirium

   March 30, 2018 at 10:02 am | #

   Yesterday’s comic seemed to imply she’d be staying for longer than a vacation’s timeline, which (for most people) is two weeks max.
3. 
   Peter Rogan

   March 30, 2018 at 7:57 pm | #

   “Secretary” (not ‘The’ Secretary) is a 2002 film starring James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal, and explores the initiation — mutual and unexpected — of a sadomasochistic relationship between a recently released mental patient and her new boss. It’s a nuanced exploration of a type of sexuality most people have no idea exists — though they’re convinced they know an abusive relationship when they hear about it. Like Bern here, who perhaps jokingly thinks he’s making a sly rude sarcastic remark. He doesn’t get it. Neither does Agatha.

   What actually takes place in the movie is the exploration of mirrored expressions of sexual power — a shy, almost wordless plea for control and discipline, an equally shy and unsure response that promises to provide it… if it is deserved. What follows is a very specialized kind of give-and-take that exposes desires and capacities neither participant is familiar with, but learns, with help from each other, to navigate and express. Unless you’ve known people in such relationships of tests of power, permission and balance, it looks not merely strange but perverse. As if she was asking for it. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to give it to her, but did, and it was a revelation. To both of them.

   I’ve often thought that Bruno is seeking something of the same — not an exchange of power, as in “Secretary,” but an exchange of self-abnegation and doubt, punctuated by awkward and forced admissions of needing and even wanting such an exchange. As here in today’s comic. She’s never found such a companionship, and I find it difficult to conceive of such a counterpart for her. There is a real danger of both getting fed up with the theatrics and drama and self-absorption of the other. The line between soulmate and exquisite tormenter is exceedingly fine here, and can not just be crossed in bad faith multiple times by both side, but can be erased and replaced with a sea of resentment — not unlike a lot of failed, bitter marriages or other presumably long-standing relationships.

   Alas, no matter the artistic bent or personal eccentricities of her companions and lovers, none are a match for the convoluted, intensely introverted Bruno. Her search goes unfulfilled, and more often than not simply unrealized or not comprehended. Sarah touched on Bruno’s essential dilemma, but can only tell her to reach out without expectations. That won’t get Sarah or Bruno anywhere. Bruno doesn’t understand her own soul; only the involvement of another person, equally self-absorbed but wanting more, could allow her even to create a language that can speak to them both, if not in words. To begin with, at least.

   I’ve seen relationships grow stronger through exchanges of power, even as they weird other people out. But not a relationship between awkward self-involved introverts. It’s times like these I feel sorry for Bruno. It’s highly unlikely that two introverts will meet, let alone find themselves in mutually-supportive emotional exchanges. And this makes me sad. I think of all the introverts like her out there that I am likely to never meet, let alone see them meet each other and bond. Ah, look at all the lonely people.
4. 
   llirium

   March 31, 2018 at 11:05 am | #

   Guess I’m pretty lucky. More introverts meet online and have genuinely fulfilling social (and sometimes sexual) lives a bit more than I remembered IRL pre-Internet. It isn’t totally hopeless, we mostly connect through the screen and then in person (after a rather lengthy time of texting/emailing/chatting/vidchatting first).

   Llightning struck about three times for me, meeting long-term partners this way. Introverts can have a lot of mutual fun together if not too many eccentricities and selfish habits bump up against the other. ;)